I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
