gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
Randomize
