so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
Randomize
