i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Randomize
