Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
Randomize
