Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
