Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
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