I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
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