in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize
