yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
You asked the waitress for a vasectomy and handed her a butter knife, like you were ordering something from the menu
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
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