Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
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