Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
Randomize
