Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
Randomize
