Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
