Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Randomize
