she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Randomize
