well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
