The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
Randomize
