I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
Randomize
