I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
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