my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
Randomize
