We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
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