When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Randomize
