Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
Randomize
