the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
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