i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
Randomize
