I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
Randomize
