Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
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