when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
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