I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
Randomize
