I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
Randomize
