What a fucking waste of an outfit
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
Randomize
