oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
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