suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
Aw. You're having cute FaceTime with your fiance, I'm trying to convince myself not to booty call a 42 year old. #adulting
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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