i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
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