We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
We don't watch enough power rangers
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
Randomize
