Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
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