eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
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