do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
Randomize
