just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
Randomize
