ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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