i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
Randomize
