Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
Randomize
