i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
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