i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
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