this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
I puked a lego.
ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
Randomize
