What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
Randomize
