i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
Randomize
