I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
Randomize
