I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
Randomize
