She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
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