i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
Randomize
