My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
You need a sexual gate keeper
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
Randomize
