Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
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