Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
Every concussion has its silver lining
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
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