Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
